Sci fi, fantasy, weird and big freakin' squid


September 19, 2009

So… you know that book called Twilight?

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Written by: Kat Clay
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I have a problem. Every time I go to buy a fun, distracting book, I come home with a handful of depressing, literarti treatises on the misery of life. It’s not my fault. It’s just my natural persuasion; on my bookshelf As I Lay Dying sits next to Rape: A Love Story. When it comes to holiday reading, I really have to stop myself and think. Do I really want to read In Cold Blood relaxing in summery Japan?

So, you know that book called Twilight… I finally read it. Waiting in line at the bookstore with yet another handful of books destined for intellectual snobbery, I spotted the all too familiar cover of two white hands holding a red apple. It was like seeing that really popular girl at school in the shopping centre, with perfect blonde hair and great clothes, while my books dawdled home from the library, with a frumptastic look of socks and sandals. There and then I decided that I would read Twilight. But I didn’t want anyone to know. After all, what would it do to my reputation as a serious literary reviewer if anyone caught me red handed. I surreptitiously added the book to my stockpile and paid, placing it at the bottom of my bag. It was quickly transferred to my luggage, only to be opened upon reaching the airport.

I read 167 pages in the space between when Qantas said my flight would leave and when my flight actually left two hours later. Snuggling behind a bin was the only way to make sure my face wouldn’t be recognised. When I got on the plane, with Twilight in hand, of course I ended up sitting next to a young man reading three books by Primo Levi at the same time. When the conversation turned around to what we were reading, I quickly added that ‘I don’t normally read these sort of things…’

I feel bad for saying that, because I liked the book. Sexy vampires are my sort of thing, especially when they fall for nerdy, clutzy girls because they ‘smell nice’. (I smell nice. I use Coco Mademoiselle.)

Upon arriving in Tokyo, I encounted a lovely girl in my hostel that turned out to be a bit of a fan. When I say bit, perhaps I mean big fan. ‘It gets better,’ she assured me. ‘Have you figured out who the Indians are?’ I took a wild guess and said ‘Werewolves?’ Of course, vampires have never had problems with werewolves in the past. And no, there was never a show called Buffy where a high school girl fell in love with a mysterious, sexy, helpful vampire only to have him turn crazy when they had sex for the first time because she was giving him his humanity back or something like that.

Like Angel (and possibly Spike in very small amounts), the vampires in the world of Stephanie Meyer have a sort of undefinable conscience. They don’t eat humans, but they certainly won’t be going on PETA’s Christmas card list. They’ve been alive for some time now, and carry with them an olde-worlde charm that seems to be missing from so many of the males today, at least in Forks, that is. They also don’t turn into a pile of ashes in sunlight. They… ahem… sparkle.

The only thing that bugged me was that Bella never has any problems with the idea that vampires exist. Of course they do. They go to school. They play baseball. And they seek relationships with mortals that are so clearly below their level that it seems almost like a charity date. But I can look past that. I really do want to see past that, just in case some sexy vampire comes my way. My clutzy, nerdy, smelly way.

About the Author

Kat Clay
Kat Clay loves fiction, travelling and giant squid. She is trained in fencing, speaks five languages and is being considered as the next Bond villain.



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  1. Ha ha! Well, you can’t rule it out as a possibility. You never know what kind of secret lives people might lead.

  2. Amy

    Although I think it’s hard to comment on this book until all four are finished (hence my reading of all four of them in four days), I wasn’t so much bothered by Bella’s acceptance of vampires in the book but I was bothered by her lack of power/agency.

    It did kind of piss me off that Stephanie Meyer is essentially encouraging a whole generation of teenage girls to be waiting for their big strong man to fly (or in this case leap) in and save them… Although obviously in a human-vampire relationship it is going to be a little unequal, but it did annoy me a bit.

    All is forgiven though, stephanie Meyer – your books are addictive!

  3. Twlight movie is a very very good movie to watch. i love the whole story plus the actors and actresses are all gorgeous.

  4. Twilight is simply the best movie and i am so much addicted to it. Kirsten Stewart is very pretty and Robery Pattinson is so handsome!!!

  5. Kat

    I haven’t seen the movie yet but I’m hoping to eventually! New Moon comes out soon and I must admit those werewolves look pretty buff.

  6. ha! That was pretty funny actually!

  7. Yvette

    You are so right on… That was my exact experience. I accidently left my copy on the back seat of my car and was horrified when someone fell work commented on it. But I had read the whole series.

  8. Louise

    So true, I have been paid out so many times for admitting that i have read the Twilight series. Just because I have read them it DOESN’T mean I’m an obsessive fan-girl with a “Team Edward” T-shirt. I was merely curious… and the experience wasn’t entirely bad (although it had it’s moments!)

  9. Kat T

    I’ve read them all. The first book isn’t too bad, really, once you suspend disbelief. But gradually it turns into a train wreak that you have to keep reading because surely…. *surely* it can’t get worse! And, for the T-shirts, I’m a big fan of the one JINX have available.

  10. Hahah… some things I agree with. Just finished the last one. I liked it but certain things you do have to suspend belief for. If you want to see some bad twilight merch check out and the tab ‘twilight’… creepy.

  11. dr.peppergirl

    i have not reaad twilight although my friends enjoy them i have been stuck on a phenominal book called a passion denied by julie lessman. check it out!

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